Sometimes it is difficult to avoid the limelight or the part where we get attention for no other reason other than we are asked to chair a meeting. Even then, especially then, it is an opportunity to connect with other people.
Human nature will always tend to put that person on a pedestal no matter how large or how slight. Our object in every case whether we are leading a group, sharing in a group or practicing these principles in all our affairs, is to simple share our experience, strength and hope. If we stick to these guidelines there will be no ulterior motives.
Victims Seldom Are
As always, there is a flip side to ego driven attention seeking behavior and that is one of playing the victim. We all suffer in life. Some greater than others but that is the lot, the human condition. Some become rich, some live the life of Job. It is not for me to judge or envy, nor is it for me to coddle the individual who wants to wallow in their soft warm blanket of self-pity.
I cannot seek out only those who can help or in some ways do something for me. This is simply asking someone else to fill a part of you that you are not ready to fill yourself. We all must experience pain to learn, grow and perceive pleasure. I know if I find myself in a bad situation, somewhere in the past I made a decision that put me there, so I have to make new decisions to get myself out.
Everybody Needs Help
This is not to say I cannot ask for help. I often do and I listen and take it or leave it. I have mentors that I look to for some guidance but in the end, if it is to be it is definitely up to me. I choose to make the meeting, the amends, pray for those I resent and clean house or I don’t but I usually have someone with me on most of those pathways.
Connecting is seeing the good in someone, emulating it and passing it on. That keeps us all connected. All 12 step programs are borne out of helping others. It is the keystone to any recovery so help and be helped. If it is an honest effort no one will deny you that help in most cases.
Connecting is Something Much Different
It happens when two individuals bring that individuality to the relationship. No two people are ever going to be alike. Heck in my experience, the very few close relationships I have only garnered a few matching behavior and character traits (beyond the basics of integrity, honesty, compassion etc.). Yet on those few traits we connect and we can build a relationship from there.
Don’t be needy or ego driven and you will find the simple connections in the cracks. Most of all be yourself and happy with that but not too happy, always get better.